Celestial Ire
by anon-someone
Summary: Lupin has a nightmare in which he deals with his curse and how it affects the way he loves.


I do not own any of the characters mentioned. As much as I would love to own some part of Harry Potter, alas I don't. I hope that you enjoy the story. It's just a short something I wrote.

* * *

><p>Lupin crawled into a ball and pulled the blanket snugly around himself keeping himself warm from the cold winter wind, that somehow always managed to sneak its way through the windows of his dormitory. He could hear the snores and heavy breathing of the other boys and shut his eyes, ready to be encompassed by that welcoming endless blackness. Luckily, tonight sleep came to him easily, he didn't even have to beg for it to come him. Lupin loved the escape that came over him when he slept. Although frequently he did have nightmares, his friends were always there to reassure him that he was nothing like the beast in his dreams. James, Sirius, and Peter were more like brothers to him. They knew his secret, and yet they were not afraid like so many others. They didn't cower in fear and throw insults at him, degrading him by using the law. They embraced him and made him feel human- they made him feel whole.<p>

Lupin could feel himself falling into a nightmare and there was no escaping it. He could feel his muscles twitch as he transformed throwing his head back and howling viciously. His senses were on high alert and he could smell the human approaching him from behind. It was a girl. She stepped on a twig and his ears snapped to attention. He haunched over, tightening his muscles and ready to lunge at his victim. The girl was nearing, he could hear her heart beating faster than it should, her deep uneven breathing obviously trying to calm herself down, he could smell her perfume- sweet and light, just like lilies... She stepped into the clearing and while Lupin was trying to fight the urge to attack his friend, his monstrous instincts won him over, and he lunged right for her throat.

He was waiting for the scream, for the snapping of her neck, for the realization to come crashing over him that he had just killed his best mate's girlfriend, that he had killed the only girl who had ever considered him a friend. But she didn't scream. Lily stood there, unflinching and silent, as this beast was hurling towards her ready to end her life. Suddenly a whisper escaped from her lips. It wasn't a last goodbye or even a gasp like he had expected, but it was a name. His name. Lupin landed on his feet a few feet over from Lily, after twisting his body to prevent her harm. Lupin turned and walked back across the clearing, while internally he was raging war against himself. He had wanted to attack Lily, but he couldn't. Would he have attacked her had it been somebody else? This is why he couldn't fall in love with anyone.

He could hear Lily's heartbeat and breathing return to their somewhat normal state. He could also feel the monster within himself quiet a little as well. He sat down on his hind legs with his back towards her, still perfectly aware of her locations and actions. He stayed that way as she slowly started to walk across the clearing towards him and called his name out stretching out her hand to touch him. As the distance was closing between then he bared his teeth and let a snarl escape from his throat. Her hand which had been outstretched just a second before was now covering her mouth. She was trying to hide her fear. Lily was a brilliant, talented, brave young witch and she should have know better than approach a werewolf. Lupin got up off his hind legs and bared his teeth once more. Trying to frighten Lily into running away so he wouldn't hurt her, but instead she continued forward calling out his name. Telling him that everything would be okay, that he wasn't the monster everyone thought and treated him like. Lupin started to coil back on his legs, ready to spring at her at any moment to scare her off, when he howled once more as ferociously as possible. He had managed to stop her in her tracks, but after a few seconds she preceded once again. Lupin looked in her eyes and realized that she was aware of what the consequences may be. He couldn't help but think to himself how she obviously was aware of this. He knew that Lily was second in the grade, right after him, and that she would go out of her way to help anyone. And right now she saw a friend who needed to be helped. With his muscles still coiled ready to spring he crouched lower to the ground ready to spring, when he was hit. It was then that he heard Lily scream. A scream that would haunt him until the day that he died. He felt the antlers of the stag around his neck, steering him away from Lily. The dog was on his torso pushing him away from her as well. After struggling for a few minutes he finally gave up. Allowing himself to be pinned to the ground, the dog standing on his chest making sure he was not getting away. With a nod from the dog, the stag walked towards Lily and kneeled to the ground. It was as if she knew what to do naturally and she climbed onto his back, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. This is why he couldn't fall in love with Lily.

* * *

><p>Please leave a review if you feel so inclined! :)<p> 


End file.
